Detritus, page 4

1. So talking to my mother last night I was informed that my grandmother died. My paternal grandmother. Aka, my father's mother. As such, I haven't spoken with her in about...oh....15 years. Not that I had anything against her. In fact, I probably got along with her better than any of my other grandparents. But when things soured with my father I understandably lost contact with that side of the family. My father was wheelchair-ridden due to diabetes and for the past 10 years has been living with his mother with assisted-living people assisting their living. Or so I'm told. Like I said, I don't contact that side of the family. But I am sad my grandmother passed on. According to my mother, she was 93. She was, as my father once put it, a tough old bird. And she really was. Her maiden named was Drake (how awesome a name is that?) and my mother always tells me she thinks I got my genes from that particular branch of the family tree. The Drakes were large people. Tall and wide, big bones, big frames, not fat per se, just big people. I'm built like that. Underneath the fat, there is a large frame and I'm obviously pretty dang tall. As my mother described it last night, we are built like trees. I like to think that makes a more direct connection between me and the one redeemable branch of my paternal family tree (the Drakes). Rest in peace, Grandma. Life handed you a speeding bullet of shit, you took it on the chin, and never complained one day. You were a lady made of steel. Time for your rest.

2. In other death related news, Paul Newman passed away. I already covered my feelings on this in other places.

3. I shared this with Taco, but I might as well share it with the rest of you. Don't worry Taco, you're still special, baby. Anyways, people have been doing the google analytics thang, so I decided to give it a shot. Since I just set it up I don't quite have the list of search hits that other people have, but I did have 4 hits through Google search engine that I thought were pretty funny taken as a whole. The first three were fairly intelligent. 1. Do not confuse the pointing finger with the moon. Ok, the zen warning I posted before. That's pretty smart. 2. Edward Scissorhands Ethics Conversation. Hey, that sounds like someone I'd like to chat with, right on. 3. Les Barker Occasional Table. Alright, another Les Barker fan! Spread the word of Englands greatest comedic point. What's the fourth hit you ask? Adultfungirls.com. That pretty much sums me up, I think. A veneer of intelligence over a core of smuttiness. How that search came to my site, I haven't a clue. But right on.

4. I have a crush on the cute girl in the stockroom. Shut up, Blue. I still have no hope. Nothing will happen. NOTHING WILL HAPPEN.

5. I took my cat to the vet last week. Nothing is wrong, just time for her 3rd round of booster shots. The vet opened the door to her cat carrier and she stepped out and started sniffing around, checking things out. The vet said, "my, you're a confident little girl, aren't you." And then I realized, hey, she really is. She didn't hide in her carrier. She was presented with a new situation and a new person and she immediately started exploring. I...I'm not sure how I feel about having a cat more emotionally balanced than I am. I would've been at the back of the carrier hiding. I also am pretty certain she is smarter than I am too. Maybe if I'm lucky she'll start bringing in a paycheck and I can retire.

6. I've pretty much stopped using my elliptical runner, which means I'm only working out three days a week. But you know what? This semester the Monday and Friday classes are taught by Crazy Devil Woman. Ms. Hey Let's Do Squats And Lunges The First 25 Minutes Of Class. My quads have stopped working.

7. Coyote, if you haven't watched The Tao of Steve, you really should. I'm just going to assume you have.

8. This past weekend was AV weekend in WoW, and I got the last piece of pvp gear for my mage. I started this odyssey the last AV weekend, so that's 5 weeks. In 5 weeks I upgraded every gear slot for my mage with pvp gear except one (one of the trinket slots, I got the brewfest spell damage trinket and it's not worth grinding honor to upgrade with the pvp trinket. 30k honor for 3 more spell damage? I don't think so). I also spent a day and a half in AV with my shaman getting an upgrade for his MH weapon. I used badges to buy the OH fist weapon and then the Kara group he was running with collapses so he was left with a kickass OH weapon and a shit MH weapon. That has been remedied. So I'm done with pvping. That's it. It's over. No more. One of my guildmates was happy. He said he much preferred my Cranky self (normal mind set) over my Homicidal self (pvping mind set). Pvping really is like swinging two bags of retarded children together. And if you don't play WoW this probably doesn't make any sense. And you should be playing WoW.

9. For those of you that play Spore, the Grox are not to be fucked with. They own every system around the center of the galaxy. Getting to said center is the "goal" of the game. I tried twice to get there. Once I quarter-assed it, the other time I half-assed it. Both times ended poorly. The only way I'm getting there is using my full ass. The systematic destruction of the Grox. Which could take YEARS.

10. We have a departmental email listserv. No shock, pretty much every department everywhere has one. People occasionally abuse this listserv to their own personal gain. For example, advertising a local roller derby match (which I totally have to see) or selling some of their shit. We have a person who washes the glassware for the lab and a couple other labs. She's a middle aged woman, about 5 feet tall with bushy red hair, named Rhonda. Last week she sent an email to the listserv trying to sell a couple musical instruments. A large keyboard and a viola. Today she sent another email to the listserv. This time she's selling a suit of chain mail and a helmet. This is also the woman that walked up to one of the people in the lab one time and proclaimed, "so my ex-husband gave me herpes." Rhonda....Rhonda scares me a little.

The mass of men

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
- Henry David Thoreau (a huge prat)

I was walking along the street one day when I thought about what might happen if you could hear other peoples thoughts. Then I felt sorry for the person that could hear my thoughts. They would hear only a single, continuous scream.

Also walking along the street I overheard a woman talking on her cell phone say, "and then she fell asleep in the laundry basket." I now wish I stopped her and found out the rest of the story. If it weren't for my horse....