I was driving to work today when I saw a sign on the side of a building proclaiming it to be the residence of some schmoe, "Attorney at Law". Then it occurred to me, that's a rather ridiculous statement. If you are an attorney, aren't you already "at law"? I mean, you can't be an attorney for other things, can you? If so, I would want to be an Attorney at Internet. To be fully trained and certified to debate the internet. I would specialize in memes.
"In the landmark case of Geekpreserve vs. 'Teh Internets' it was established that the denizens of the Geekpreserve did in fact invent lolgoats before all others, and retain all rights and gratuities derived thereof."
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Detritus, page 6
1. I really don't have much to say, but it's been over a month since my past blog post, which was short anyways. Felt I should say something.
2. Taco, what the fuck man? Seriously, your anti-Hayek agenda is disturbing and wrong.
3. My girlfriends parents are coming in this weekend. As such, I'll get most of the weekend to myself, but I will be "meeting the parents". I am nervous as all hell. My girlfriend says there is no reason to be. But she is dating me, so clearly her judgment is impaired.
4. My health insurance is fucked up. Again. Of course, it gets fucked up right when I get sick and need to have insurance. It is slowly getting fixed, but too slowly. It has also forced me to go off my medication. Going off my anti-depressants makes me pissed off and grumpy, but that's not all that bad. However, going off my blood sugar medication makes me pissed off and very, very scared.
5. Taco, when do I get to read your new story? Also, I've sent a bunch of you fuckers links to new stories of mine over the past few months and I haven't heard a word. Are they that bad? They are, aren't they. I knew it. I need to finish my zombie story.
6. Let me preface this by saying that I am, under the best circumstances, a lazy fucker. That being said, this stupid mono has made me so utterly lethargic it's insane. My level of tiredness is noticeable over my usual laziness, which means it's pretty impressive. Today it is especially bad. I got into work at 12:45. I had to email the lab to tell them I'd be that late. I went to bed at 1 AM as per usual, woke up at 11:00, and all I wanted to do was fall back asleep. I laid in my bed for a half hour in this half-consciousness state, knowing that I could fall asleep at any second if I let myself. The real kicker? My sleep is no more restful than before. I still feel like I get 3 hours of sleep a night, even though I'm sleeping 11.
7. Taco, what the fuck man? Seriously, your anti-Goonies agenda is disturbing and wrong.
8. I won't go into any detail here, but I just want to say that I wish I could enjoy sex like a normal human being. I have never felt more like a flawed and broken human than I have as of late.
9. "I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mount Sinai." - Orson Welles
10. Taco, what the fuck man? Seriously, your anti-sex-with-fett agenda is disturbing and wrong.
2. Taco, what the fuck man? Seriously, your anti-Hayek agenda is disturbing and wrong.
3. My girlfriends parents are coming in this weekend. As such, I'll get most of the weekend to myself, but I will be "meeting the parents". I am nervous as all hell. My girlfriend says there is no reason to be. But she is dating me, so clearly her judgment is impaired.
4. My health insurance is fucked up. Again. Of course, it gets fucked up right when I get sick and need to have insurance. It is slowly getting fixed, but too slowly. It has also forced me to go off my medication. Going off my anti-depressants makes me pissed off and grumpy, but that's not all that bad. However, going off my blood sugar medication makes me pissed off and very, very scared.
5. Taco, when do I get to read your new story? Also, I've sent a bunch of you fuckers links to new stories of mine over the past few months and I haven't heard a word. Are they that bad? They are, aren't they. I knew it. I need to finish my zombie story.
6. Let me preface this by saying that I am, under the best circumstances, a lazy fucker. That being said, this stupid mono has made me so utterly lethargic it's insane. My level of tiredness is noticeable over my usual laziness, which means it's pretty impressive. Today it is especially bad. I got into work at 12:45. I had to email the lab to tell them I'd be that late. I went to bed at 1 AM as per usual, woke up at 11:00, and all I wanted to do was fall back asleep. I laid in my bed for a half hour in this half-consciousness state, knowing that I could fall asleep at any second if I let myself. The real kicker? My sleep is no more restful than before. I still feel like I get 3 hours of sleep a night, even though I'm sleeping 11.
7. Taco, what the fuck man? Seriously, your anti-Goonies agenda is disturbing and wrong.
8. I won't go into any detail here, but I just want to say that I wish I could enjoy sex like a normal human being. I have never felt more like a flawed and broken human than I have as of late.
9. "I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mount Sinai." - Orson Welles
10. Taco, what the fuck man? Seriously, your anti-sex-with-fett agenda is disturbing and wrong.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
It never rained
"It never rained on the night of the Larrabee party, the Larrabees wouldn't have stood for it."
- Sabrina
I just got back from a picture-card wedding for picture-card people. On the drive back from Greencastle I passed through a town called Carp. I think it was a town. There was a blip on my GPS call Carp and I saw a metal pole with a small green sign proclaiming. For all I know, it's the home of a really famous fish. In any event, I decided that I need to write a story titled A Town Called Carp. It will be the story of a small backwoods Indiana town that houses an amateur mystical circus/freak show. It will be run by a 700 year-old Chinese man. Any weary traveller that should pass through will have their dreams turned to nightmares in the various attractions.
This may or may not be the plot to the Seven Faces of Dr. Lao.
Yeah, I really shouldn't be let out without adult supervision.
On a side note, tonight I feel very, very alone.
- Sabrina
I just got back from a picture-card wedding for picture-card people. On the drive back from Greencastle I passed through a town called Carp. I think it was a town. There was a blip on my GPS call Carp and I saw a metal pole with a small green sign proclaiming. For all I know, it's the home of a really famous fish. In any event, I decided that I need to write a story titled A Town Called Carp. It will be the story of a small backwoods Indiana town that houses an amateur mystical circus/freak show. It will be run by a 700 year-old Chinese man. Any weary traveller that should pass through will have their dreams turned to nightmares in the various attractions.
This may or may not be the plot to the Seven Faces of Dr. Lao.
Yeah, I really shouldn't be let out without adult supervision.
On a side note, tonight I feel very, very alone.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball
Serving size: one fett
Contains: 77% fail, 12% mental disorders, 5% shame, 2% cholesterol, 2% procrastination, 1% potassium benzoate, 1% ibuprofen. Also contains trace amounts of: lulz, internet memes, scientific humor, Dr. Pepper and Red #5.
Does not contain: win, creativity, physical fitness, hope, pesticides or self esteem.
The Surgeon General recommends pregnant women, those with compromised immune systems and pretty much everyone to not use fett. Those that do should avoid prolonged exposure. If taken internally, consult a physician immediately.
Contains: 77% fail, 12% mental disorders, 5% shame, 2% cholesterol, 2% procrastination, 1% potassium benzoate, 1% ibuprofen. Also contains trace amounts of: lulz, internet memes, scientific humor, Dr. Pepper and Red #5.
Does not contain: win, creativity, physical fitness, hope, pesticides or self esteem.
The Surgeon General recommends pregnant women, those with compromised immune systems and pretty much everyone to not use fett. Those that do should avoid prolonged exposure. If taken internally, consult a physician immediately.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Detritus, page 5
1. It occurred to me last night that there are probably entire generations of children out there that don't know the taste of a hamburger grilled over charcoal. That made me sad.
2. I'm rooting for Castle. And not because of the female lead that appeals to me in ways I can't even count. Ok, not JUST because of the female lead that appeals to me in ways I can't even count.
3. It turns out Christopher Walken's twitter isn't actually done by Christopher Walken but a group of...literaries may be the correct term? This lessens the awesomeness of it a little. But only a little. I like to imagine somewhere Christopher Walken is reading it and laughing. It helps if you read in the entries with Christopher Walken's voice in your head.
4. I'm playing Dwarf Fortress again. Not Gravelscarred though, I think that fortress has run its course. Which is sad, I have a fond affection for Momuz, Lor the Butcher and Kogan the Weapon. I started a new fortress but abadoned it after a short while. I was trying to get too cute with my stockpiles and work-flow, trying to think too much through it. That's not the way to play Dwarf Fortress. The way to play it is what I did on my next one, which is just let it rip. Start doing stuff without planning and make it all work. Then, once everything is working, build something incredibly stupid and pointless. In Gravelscarred with the Great Tower of Gravelscarred, made of smoothed microcline and clear glass. In my new fortress, Gemwild, it's fun with water. I'm pumping water up 20 stories or so into the mountain into a reservoir which with then split into three paths. One will be a canal district, a stream of water spiraling around a huge carved cavern into a pool at the bottom, and lining the canal will be shops (it's a tourist trap!). The second will be a giant five story sculpted fountain. The third is a series of a couple small waterfalls, the highest is a nice nook for your lovers to hang out. All three paths will join up to form a giant 7 story waterfall. There is absolutely no reason to do this. Which is why it's fun.
5. ........hhhhhhhhhhnn
6. I feel bad that I didn't send my compilation CD to everyone, but not bad enough to do anything about it. There is an explanation, but it's not worth going into at the moment.
7. My mothers boyfriend made a gift to me a copy of Watchmen. I'm reading it before I see the movie. I'm trying to balance the hype with realistic expectations. To be perfectly honest, I'm just not that into comic books.
8. I need a girlfriend. I won't say more than that. I shouldn't have said that to begin with, but it wouldn't be a Detritus if I didn't complain about it. Consider my duty done.
9. I'm teaching a class tomorrow and Friday. First year graduate students. I'm not nervous at all. I simply don't care. I should probably be taking it more serious than I am, but oh well. This will be my life (hopefully), no point in getting worked up about it. I really don't even have to prepare anything. No slides. Just stand up in front of them and ask them questions about papers I've chosen. It's the laziest way to run a class ever, and probably the most effective.
10. I love Spaced. So very much.
2. I'm rooting for Castle. And not because of the female lead that appeals to me in ways I can't even count. Ok, not JUST because of the female lead that appeals to me in ways I can't even count.
3. It turns out Christopher Walken's twitter isn't actually done by Christopher Walken but a group of...literaries may be the correct term? This lessens the awesomeness of it a little. But only a little. I like to imagine somewhere Christopher Walken is reading it and laughing. It helps if you read in the entries with Christopher Walken's voice in your head.
4. I'm playing Dwarf Fortress again. Not Gravelscarred though, I think that fortress has run its course. Which is sad, I have a fond affection for Momuz, Lor the Butcher and Kogan the Weapon. I started a new fortress but abadoned it after a short while. I was trying to get too cute with my stockpiles and work-flow, trying to think too much through it. That's not the way to play Dwarf Fortress. The way to play it is what I did on my next one, which is just let it rip. Start doing stuff without planning and make it all work. Then, once everything is working, build something incredibly stupid and pointless. In Gravelscarred with the Great Tower of Gravelscarred, made of smoothed microcline and clear glass. In my new fortress, Gemwild, it's fun with water. I'm pumping water up 20 stories or so into the mountain into a reservoir which with then split into three paths. One will be a canal district, a stream of water spiraling around a huge carved cavern into a pool at the bottom, and lining the canal will be shops (it's a tourist trap!). The second will be a giant five story sculpted fountain. The third is a series of a couple small waterfalls, the highest is a nice nook for your lovers to hang out. All three paths will join up to form a giant 7 story waterfall. There is absolutely no reason to do this. Which is why it's fun.
5. ........hhhhhhhhhhnn
6. I feel bad that I didn't send my compilation CD to everyone, but not bad enough to do anything about it. There is an explanation, but it's not worth going into at the moment.
7. My mothers boyfriend made a gift to me a copy of Watchmen. I'm reading it before I see the movie. I'm trying to balance the hype with realistic expectations. To be perfectly honest, I'm just not that into comic books.
8. I need a girlfriend. I won't say more than that. I shouldn't have said that to begin with, but it wouldn't be a Detritus if I didn't complain about it. Consider my duty done.
9. I'm teaching a class tomorrow and Friday. First year graduate students. I'm not nervous at all. I simply don't care. I should probably be taking it more serious than I am, but oh well. This will be my life (hopefully), no point in getting worked up about it. I really don't even have to prepare anything. No slides. Just stand up in front of them and ask them questions about papers I've chosen. It's the laziest way to run a class ever, and probably the most effective.
10. I love Spaced. So very much.
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