10 years

10 years come and gone so fast I might as well be dreaming.
- Paul Simon, "10 Years"

Well, the New Year has once again found us. Despite my best efforts at hiding from it. And it is the end of the decade. How did this happen? How did the decade come to a close so fast? I remember where I was when the decade started, it seems only weeks ago. And now it's past. 10 years. The decade feels lost to me.

As is my wont, when the year begins anew I reflect on the previous New Years post. What my aims were, and how I approached them. So let us revisit.

• Ask Marta (the cute girl in the stockroom) out for dinner. Whatever the outcome, it must be asked.

I actually did this. And I cannot believe. I marched down there, just marched down there, out of the blue, my heart pounding, I took her aside and asked her to dinner. Just...did it. She shot me down of course. But I still can't believe I did it.

• Work on and submit at least two publications for my job.

Two, no. One, yes. A review, which isn't as good as a primary research paper, but it's a massive review in a major journal, so it's nothing to snub my nose at. Took me months and nearly drove me insane. I finished it, submitted it, and just before Christmas did the the rewrites, got it back in and it was accepted. Finished. Now for the other one.

• Finish my zombie story and submit it to Wierd Tales

Not even close. In fact...god....I don't think I did any writing whatsoever. Truly I am a failure.

• Start at least one other story

I don't think I...no wait. I think I have a couple ideas rattling around in my head. Usually based on dreams.

• Have dinner at the Irish Lion at least once a month

Not once a month, but actually a fair bit. The girlfriend really likes that place. In fact, it's sort of "our place". So we go there fairly often.

• Get to know Noq better

Only a little, sadly. The vast bulk of Noq's awesomeness still remains a mystery, which I only have myself to blame.

• Post a lot in the Serenity RPG

Hey, I did my level best with that. I tried to revive it on a number of occasions. Any lack of posting I blame on others.

• Continue to work out at least 3 times a week

That sort of went out the window what with the review. Then the mono. Then a cold. Then out of sheer laziness.

• Pay off my credit card (again)

Victory! Credit cards are paid off and I have even started saving a little dough. I am fiscally responsible!

• Visit a new city

Yes, but this was a setup. I knew I was going to visit Boston when I added this to my post last year.

• Blog more

I think my blogging has tapered off some.

• Bitch less

You know, people tend to think I'm a sourpuss. Well, I am, but I don't bitch all that often. I may be grumpy sure, but I don't complain a lot.

• Sleep evenly

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

• Smile in the morning

What is this "morning" you speak of?

• Tell everyone I love that I love them

Nope.

• Ask for forgiveness instead of permission

I didn't ask for anything.

• Offer a shoulder

I do that a lot with the girlfriend.

• Offer a hand

Done.

• Offer a Dr. Pepper

No! My Dr. Pepper!

• Be the person people know me to be instead of the person I think I am

Not. Even. Close.

• Be the ball

I'm pretty sure I was sometime there.

• Heed the advice of Jimmy V.

I don't cry much anymore.

• Hold myself to my New Years resolutions only so much as I want, and not feel guilty if I fail.

There is absolutely no guilt there. Not one bit.

And now, for the new list.

• Begin working out again
• Go to the doctor and get myself back on medication
• Write SOMETHING damnit
• Try to publish a work of fiction
• Visit my friends in North Carolina
• Try to see Coyote sometime
• Try to see Noq sometime
• Finish one standalone computer game
• Complete my masterwork vision in Dwarf Fortress
• Try to keep my girlfriend despite my emotional closed-offness
• Get drunk
• Get funky
• Get off
• Sleep 8 hours uninterrupted
• Clean my apartment once a month
• Go on a double date with my friend Pam and her husband
• Sample a new scotch
• Hold myself to my New Years resolutions only so much as I want, and not feel guilty if I fail

May the new year give you better fortune than the last. It'd be hard to give worse.

I'm going in!

So my toilet clogged yesterday. On Christmas. Happy Holidays to me. And I appear to have gotten rid of my plunger when I moved to Indiana. So I had little recourse on this one. Fortunately my apartment has a second bathroom so I was not, if you pardon the phrase, up shit creek. I simply had to bide my time until today when the stores re-opened. So today I went to Lowe's and picked up some supplies. There I am at the checkout, and the checkout lady takes a look at my haul. She looks at my plunger, two bottles of foaming pipe snake (for an unrelated pipe clog) and bottle of CLR, she looks at me and she says "good luck with that".

Yeah, that kind of made my day.

Be seeing you

Be seeing you
- The Prisoner

It is upon us. This Sunday AMC's remake of the classic and iconic cult television show The Prisoner premieres. I feel a surprising amount of hatred toward this show I haven't even seen. It's a combination of factors. First, it's a remake, which automatically deducts 50 points. Second, it's a remake of a show that should not be remade. The original is certainly not for everyone, but it is very much a product of it's age. The themes and context of the original will be lost on modern audiences. That's if they are even kept. Indications indicate they will not.

I read an article about the remake, which can be found here. Okay. Okay. Let's at least try to keep an open mind. Hmmm, they've got Ian Mckellan playing Number 2, that's a good sign, he's a good actor. I like the change in venue from Wales to a playland village in Nambia. The idea of the idyllic village being surrounded by desert is actually pretty cool. And they are keeping the Rovers, though I fear not in quite the same incarnation. Patrick Mcgoohan even indicated he was interested in playing Number 2 in this series shortly before his death.

But even as my hopes were building just slightly, they crashed. First, not only will they have the same Number 2 throughout the entire series, but they are giving him a wife and a "troubled teenage son". They even hint that some people will consider him the hero! The guy they got playing Number 6 refused to watch the original series "for fear of absorbing too much of McGoohan’s bravura performance." And it turns out Ian Mckellan doesn't even like the original series. He thinks it's crap. How can you have someone in a remake that doesn't even respect the source material? They are making Number 6 part of a "love triangle"? Oh come ON, that's just cheap. And as a final crushing blow, they are changing the main message from one of individualism to one embracing "community". Taken together, these facts indicate a remake that doesn't even embrace its source material, but instead stole the gimmick to support its own cheap, bankrupt "storytelling" (read: moneymaking).

AMC has been making a name for itself with original television series of late with the critical success of Mad Men. Frankly, any station that supports Christina Hendricks and her...ahem...assetts is ok in my book. But this project doesn't look like a way of modernizing a taut psychological thriller. It's look like a project stealing a conceit, hoping to draw in viewers based on name recognition of a source material it so blatantly disregards, and substituting cheap nighttime drama plotlines (troubled teenage son?) instead of pschological questions and discussions on the nature of reality, personal will and personal morality. Perhaps I'm wrong. I'm basing my assumptions on little actual input, I admit. But all the evidence so far is less than encouraging. Time will tell. But in a world where National Treasure is considered gold while films like Children of Men are overlooked, I harbor little hope for taste in general.

Top 5: Boogie of the Top 5

Top 5 songs that make me dance even though I hate dancing

5. Better Not Look Down - BB King

4. Shake a Tail Feather - Ray Charles

3. Hook, Line and Sinker - Chris Smither

2. Chicago - Ramsay Midwood

1. Superstition - Stevie Wonder

I'll be damned

I'll be damned if I let some foreign, graffiti writin', soul suckin', son of a bitch in an oversized cowboy hat and boots take my friend's souls and shit 'em down the visitors toilet!
- Bubba Hot-ep

I like graffiti. Now, I'm not talking about your standard spray paint scrawl you see covering every surface in urban areas. I find it an eyesore. I know some people call it an art form, personally I don't. However, I realize that's just my opinion and it's clearly open for debate. No, I'm talking about writing or at least actual artistic intent. I like the graffiti they found in Pompeii. I like the art of Banksy. On a condemned building in town someone did a Banksy style graffiti, a stencil of a naked woman holding her breasts. It was really quite beautiful. This town being full of college students as it is, someone later drew a mustache on her. While I appreciate the retro aspect of that addition (how Bugs Bunny), it kind of ruined it.

I like graffiti in college bathrooms. It's so hilariously political. In a bathroom down the hall there are comments about ex-President Bush written above the urinals. There's "stop the Bush Nazi's". It was probably written by either a militant left-wing undergrad or a professor. I'm guessing professor. This type of statement doesn't sit well with the redneck physical plant guys that also use the bathroom. One tried to scratch out the statement. There's another that reads "there's a terrorist behind every Bush". I thought that was rather clever. Then one of the physical plant guys added "yeah, comes right behind him in office." You have to give credit for the comeback. I don't think I could've done as well. I'm thinking about adding "wait, Obama is a terrorist? I thought he was a communist, I better go check Foxnews." Somehow I don't think that's really in the proper graffiti style. Too long.

Murdered!

Murdered! And someone's responsible!
- Plan 9 From Outer Space

Yesterday during the day kind of sucked. Yesternight during the night totally rocked. Why you ask? (ok, I know you're not asking why but if yesternight is really a word). Last night my girlfriend and I went to see a showing of Plan 9 From Outer Space. But wait, it gets better.

It was actually a Fathom Event. The event was a rebroadcast of a taping of a live Rifftrax session. I know I murdered that sentence, but the point is: Rifftrax! On August 20 of this year the Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy got together in a theater in Nashville, in front of a live audience and live broadcast to theaters around the country, and riffed over a showing of Plan 9. But it was even more than that. It was a whole goddamned show. They started with riffing on a short "Flight Stewardess". Then there was a "comedy" clip from the founder of SomethingAwful. Then Jonothan Coulton came out and sang a couple numbers. Then there was another "comedy" clip (both were pretty bad), then the boys came out and sang a song with Jonothan Coulton before finally going on to the main presentation.

Let me put it this way. I haven't laughed that hard since I was wandering around the North Carolina state fair making lolgoat jokes with a couple of people that shall go unnamed. I think I hurt something laughing. It was fucking hilarious and fucking awesome. I miss MST3K. I need to get into rifftrax.

Now just remember, sunlight is made of many atoms...

Like swallows to Capistrano

I've started writing on my thumb. Again.

This is not a good sign.