Had another crazy dream last night. I was desperate to sell a China hutch out of an abandoned movie theater before I had to get to the penis-measuring contest held at a local high school. Contest to see who had the biggest penis, not a contest about measuring penises. There were hundreds of people, in teams of three. Why in teams, I have no idea. My teammates were a couple guys I knew in high school, but we were soon separated as I rushed to the bathroom; I didn't want a full bladder and the pee-pee dance to cause any shrinkage.
As the line moved briskly long, a man in a kilt and accordion was singing us penis-themed battle marches, which were jaunty and fun, especially when we all joined in. We passed green slate chalkboards with previous tallies of the best of each team that had already been measured. Lot of 8 and 10 inches (I definitely knew I was dreaming then). Then I discovered that the line emptied into a cafeteria for a free lunch before the measuring. The food was gourmet versions of normal cafeteria food. I kept spilling thing from my tray and was accosted by a surly cashier and that's the last thing I remember.
The craziest part? I have dreams like this all. the. time.
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1 comment:
I demand that people start writing, recording and releasing penis themed battle marches. Now.
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