You can never go too far

You can never go too far
- Ferris Bueller's Day Off

The local strip club in town is a place called Night Moves. I like to drive by it because they have a road sign that has often humorous and risque quips on it, as you would expect for a strip club road sign. Well, their current one is pushing it. And by pushing it, I mean awesome.

"One dollar nose warmers inside"

Seeing it was the type of moment you wish you had been drinking so you could do a spit-take. Well done fellas. I think you set sexual equality back a few years, but it was totally worth it.

Already?

A new year. Where the fuck did the old one go? I wasn't done with it yet. I had barely even started. I was supposed to be so much farther along in my career than this. The next 8 months are so are going to be crucial for my career. If I don't succeed...I don't know what will happen. Failure and depression, probably.

How about my personal life? Well, it's actually been pretty decent. My girlfriend and I are stable. While we've had our rough times, particularly toward the beginning of the year, we've...well...I don't want to say we've ironed those out, or fixed them. But we've recognized them and are working on them and we are being very patient with each other. It's a good relationship. We are solid. We've never had an argument. We've disagreed, sure, but we've never actually argued. Will we? I think it's mathematically impossible to be with someone for an extended period of time without arguing, but at this point we realize we love each other very much, so nothing is really worth getting that upset over, and we can work things out.

Anyways, that's enough of that. I must get on with my New Year's tradition: looking over last years New Year's post. And making fun of myself.

• Begin working out again

Sporadically. Would work out some, then stop for a while, which does no good. I am so fat.

• Go to the doctor and get myself back on medication

Success. I am on medication. It sucks that I'm dependent on it for an emotionally even life, but so it goes.

• Write SOMETHING damnit

I...um...er....does story notes count? No? Fuck.

• Try to publish a work of fiction

Not even close, despite my girlfriend pushing me too. I think I need more than one person to push me.

• Visit my friends in North Carolina

Nope, and since December was holy fuck expensive, I'm not sure I can any time soon. This calls for a frowny face. :(

• Try to see Coyote sometime

See above

• Try to see Noq sometime

See double above

• Finish one standalone computer game

Finished several as a matter of fact. It was great fun working through the pile. I highly recommend it.

• Complete my masterwork vision in Dwarf Fortress

Petered out halfway through. Once the new version of the game came out, accomplishments in the old version lost their luster.

• Try to keep my girlfriend despite my emotional closed-offness

Success. Who'd a thunkit?

• Get drunk

No. It's been...god...3 years since I've been drunk? I need to tie one on.

• Get funky

Only when no one is watching.

• Get off

Not as often as I'd like, which is only due to side effects of my medication.

• Sleep 8 hours uninterrupted

365 chances. 365 failures. How do normal people do it every night?

• Clean my apartment once a month

*snort*

• Go on a double date with my friend Pam and her husband

Did a few times. Quite fun. They just had a baby. That won't be happening for a while.

• Sample a new scotch

A few. Of note, at my bosses Christmas party. A 35 year old cask strength. Holy fuck was that powerful.

• Hold myself to my New Years resolutions only so much as I want, and not feel guilty if I fail

Failure this year. I feel very guilty. Mostly about the weight and the not visiting friends.

And now this years:

• Propose to my girl in a personal and creative fashion
• Make more blog posts that start with movie quotes
• Play the new version of Dwarf Fortress
• Get my guitar out once a month
• REALLY start to work on losing weight, to perhaps look good in a tux
• Finish the origami page-a-day calender from last year
• Succeed in doing some good science
• REALLY submit a story for publication (am I repeating myself here?)
• Finish the stack of books next to my bed
• Take a trip with my girl
• Take a chill pill
• Take a number
• Take a vacation before December
• Take a moment
• Work 8 hours without turning on my computer
• Eat a balanced breakfast
• Balance the books
• Book a flight
• Try to be happy
• Hold myself to my New Years resolutions only so much as I want, and not feel guilty if I fail

Survive a New Year, friends.