Top 5: Bronzing of the Top 5

Top 5 people I think should be canonized as a saint (as opposed to being canonized as something else?)

5. Celebrity chef Martin Yan

4. Fred "Mr." Rogers

3. My mother

2. Famed animator Hayao Miyazaki

1. My high school choir director, Dr. Bruce Gleason

The Numbers

Facebook friends: 20
Facebook friends married: 15
Facebook friends with children: 10

Granted, some of these numbers are skewed since some Facebook friends are married to each, and share children, but still, I'm going to go wallow in self-pity for a while. Seems the thing to do on a lonely Friday night.

What the hell is wrong with me, part II

Had another crazy dream last night. I was desperate to sell a China hutch out of an abandoned movie theater before I had to get to the penis-measuring contest held at a local high school. Contest to see who had the biggest penis, not a contest about measuring penises. There were hundreds of people, in teams of three. Why in teams, I have no idea. My teammates were a couple guys I knew in high school, but we were soon separated as I rushed to the bathroom; I didn't want a full bladder and the pee-pee dance to cause any shrinkage.

As the line moved briskly long, a man in a kilt and accordion was singing us penis-themed battle marches, which were jaunty and fun, especially when we all joined in. We passed green slate chalkboards with previous tallies of the best of each team that had already been measured. Lot of 8 and 10 inches (I definitely knew I was dreaming then). Then I discovered that the line emptied into a cafeteria for a free lunch before the measuring. The food was gourmet versions of normal cafeteria food. I kept spilling thing from my tray and was accosted by a surly cashier and that's the last thing I remember.

The craziest part? I have dreams like this all. the. time.

Dreams feel real while we're in them

Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange.
- Inception

I read an article once that listed a few things that people talk about that other people plain don't want to hear about. How drunk you were last night, your kids, your band in high school. Also, your dreams.

I'm going to talk about my dream last night. It's my blog, tough.

I had a nested dream. It started out with one of my normal "holy fuck, what is going on?" dreams. I was trying to get to Taco's house to help him and his kid with some math problems. I had to travel through the backyard of David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, who were living together. Not Mulder and Scully, but the actual actors. I was being followed and harassed by two scary hillbillies, who were very close to mugging me. I appealed to David Duchovny for aid. He verbally abused them, which did as much good as you might expect. Then Gillian Anderson got the big one in a headlock and messed him up a bit. It didn't really deter them. But then they found some dog poop from one of Gillian Anderson's dogs and decided that it'd be much more lucrative to sell it on eBay than mug me.

Eventually I get to Taco's house, which is a rustic, crumbling cabin, being squatted in by some Okies. I was just about to get started on the math problems, with Coyote hanging around as well, when I woke up.

I thought, "man, that was one weird dream" and then went on with doing some ordinary everyday tasks. Then I woke up again. Apparently, I had just dreamed that I woke up from the weird dream, and just kept on dreaming. I shook my head and went on with my day.

Then I woke up for real.

So I had a dream, within a dream, within a dream.

My head is a scary place.

Double quote time

Rummaging through papers on my desk today, I ran across a picture of me and my ex-girlfriend and a friends mother. It was a nice time, maybe one of the last nice times we had. I thought I had removed her from my life as much as possible. This picture jumped up on me.

I nearly lost it, right there in lab.

I was reminded of a post from Taco's blog. It started with a quote.

Running into you like this without warning
Is like catching a sniff of tequila in the morning
But I'll try, try to keep my food down.
It's quite an aftertaste that you've left
Now that you're not around.

-Crash Test Dummies, "I Think I'll Disappear Now"

I've never heard the song, but I know exactly how they feel.

Taco then gave me propers for starting blog posts with quotes.

I somehow held things together.

I tore up the picture and threw it in the trash.

Worlds in moments. Lifetimes in between jumbled papers. Memories still poisonous even after they have been shed.

You think I don't watch

You think I don't watch your movies? You always come back.
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy vs. Dracula

(on a side note, since my ex made me watch Buffy, and it directly lead to at least one "fight", it is now forever tainted and horrid in my eyes. And we never even finished it)

So, now that I am...sigh...single again, I've started back with my movie watching. Does this mean the return of the Three Movie Weekend? Probably not. I'm too lazy for that. But I would like to note a couple things.

I watched Cowboy Bebop: the Movie. I generally stay away from anime because, well, there is a LOT of horrible anime out there. So I only go for the classics. And anything Miyazaki does; that man is a fucking genius and should have a statue erected to him. But Cowboy Bebop: the Movie was pretty damn good. Decent enough story, really nice animation. Characters were....meh. But really good overall. It's piqued my interest in the series. Also, seriously fucking awesome music. Check out the opening title sequence and the closing title sequence.

I can see why people dig the Spike Spiegel character. His personality ain't great, but something about the way he's animated.

The other note: when you are feeling melancholy and lonely, watching Up can be downright devastating. Fucking Pixar and their uncanny ability to gut-punch you.

Don't read anything into this

Had a thought yesterday.

Suicide takes a single moment of determination. Life with depression takes an unending series of moments of determination.

Pretty potent argument. Just a different perspective. Something to remember for future writing (writing? who does that).

Top 5: Delusion of the Top 5

Top 5 positive side effects of being single again

5. Increase in free cash now that I'm not buying every dinner

4. Having weekend evenings to myself

3. Being able to drink alone and indulge in my self-loathing without judgment, at least for a while

2. No guilt in ogling women, downloading porn or masturbating

1. Absolutely nothing