Top 5 questions missing from the eHarmony personality profile.
(Yes I created an eHarmony account. This may have been an error.)
5. Would you like a Herts Donut?
4. What is your standard salad dressing of choice in restaurants?
3. Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.
2. Are you a cat person or a dog person?
1. *mumblemumble*breastsize?*mumble*
Friday, February 22, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Whenever I get gloomy
Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspision love actually is all around.
- Love Actually
Ahem.
FUCK VALENTINES DAY
(this message brought to you by 29 years of bitterness)
- Love Actually
Ahem.
FUCK VALENTINES DAY
(this message brought to you by 29 years of bitterness)
Monday, February 4, 2008
Detritus, page two
1. My birthday has passed and I celebrated it in my preferred fashion, which is not at all. I barely acknowledge the day. I don't like birthdays, I don't celebrate them, they are not happy occasions. Plus, I'm 29 now, a scant year from 30. My pissiness will be increasing in direct proportion to my age. And the curve will be logarithmic.
2. My eldest sister continues to surprise the freaking hell out of me when it comes to gifts. I tell my family that if they so desire to purchase things for me (which they really shouldn't because I never buy things for them, but do they listen? No.) they can use my amazon wish list. I get a terrible kick watching people get things for me from the list. Not because it's something that I want (which I do), but because the gift usually reflects the person giving more than the person getting. My family goes through the list, find what THEY like, then get me that. I am amused by this.
Except my eldest sister. She defies this by getting me gifts that are A) awesome and B) totally not her. I mean, this woman is divorced with two children, works for a biomedical corporation (the business part, not the medical part). She's 11 years older than me, so you can place the musical generation she grew up in. The first gift she gets me since using my wish list? The Rough Guide to the Delta Blues CD (which is no less than 14 shades of awesome). Next gift? Deus Ex and the Fallout Trilogy (the latter which I still haven't played yet because XP doesn't support it, I just have to get the crap gaming rig James and I built up and running). This year? The Tick, Season One. These are not my sister. But they are awesome.
3. I have a stalker. A play one anyways. A friend of a friend of an acquaintence of a travesty of a mockery of sham of mockery of travesty of two mockeries of sham. Why do you realize there is not one homosexual on that jury? Yes there is. Really? Is it the big guy on the end?
Ahem. Sorry, got carried away.
Anyways, friend was in town and I was hanging out with her and her friend and friend of friend, etc. Friend of friend mentions that she once had a stalker. Creepy guy would come over to visit and any time she wasn't around he'd leave a pebble on her window. She'd come back and there'd be like 6-7 pebbles on the window. Creepy yeah. Anyways, I start giving this person shit, saying how I'd love a stalker, really a boost to the self esteem. She's like, no it isn't. We start talking crap and she agrees to stalk me in jest. So when I see this person the next few times I'm all like "where's my pebble?" and she's all "oh it's coming."
One day I come in to find an object left on my desk. But it wasn't a pebble. It was a tiny, little plastic baby. The baby is on all fours with its head on its arm. She finally got around to stalking me, which is hilarious....but damned if the leaving tiny plastic babies isn't CREEPY AS FUCK. So she totally trumped me. I was all like "come on, having a stalker isn't that bad," and she's like "oh really? Here, have some tiny plastic babies." And I'm all "ok, that is really fucking creepy."
And oddly, I'm proud of this. It's simultaneously creepy and damned funny. Now I have three plastic babies. Next time I saw her I was all "the plastic babies are creepy as fuck. You are AWESOME!"
4. Three days until my wisdom teeth come out. Er....hurray?
5. I'm turning into a professor. Save me.
6. I need to finish Pebbleman. I really really really need to finish Pebbleman. I really really really really really really really need to finish Pebbleman.
Really.
7. There is no 7.
8. There is only half an eig-
9. Ok, I'm only filling in numbers until I get to 10. But I can't just stop a list at 3 or 7 or something like that. List has got to be a multiple of 5. So let it be written, so let it be done.
10. My warlock will likely hit 63 tonight, and my paladin is 60 with his epic mount. When both of those characters hit 70 that will make 7 level 70 characters. At that point I believe one of two things will happen. Either the universe will implode or I will officially win WoW. I'm a little scared when that will happen because I'll have simply run out of things to do in that game.
2. My eldest sister continues to surprise the freaking hell out of me when it comes to gifts. I tell my family that if they so desire to purchase things for me (which they really shouldn't because I never buy things for them, but do they listen? No.) they can use my amazon wish list. I get a terrible kick watching people get things for me from the list. Not because it's something that I want (which I do), but because the gift usually reflects the person giving more than the person getting. My family goes through the list, find what THEY like, then get me that. I am amused by this.
Except my eldest sister. She defies this by getting me gifts that are A) awesome and B) totally not her. I mean, this woman is divorced with two children, works for a biomedical corporation (the business part, not the medical part). She's 11 years older than me, so you can place the musical generation she grew up in. The first gift she gets me since using my wish list? The Rough Guide to the Delta Blues CD (which is no less than 14 shades of awesome). Next gift? Deus Ex and the Fallout Trilogy (the latter which I still haven't played yet because XP doesn't support it, I just have to get the crap gaming rig James and I built up and running). This year? The Tick, Season One. These are not my sister. But they are awesome.
3. I have a stalker. A play one anyways. A friend of a friend of an acquaintence of a travesty of a mockery of sham of mockery of travesty of two mockeries of sham. Why do you realize there is not one homosexual on that jury? Yes there is. Really? Is it the big guy on the end?
Ahem. Sorry, got carried away.
Anyways, friend was in town and I was hanging out with her and her friend and friend of friend, etc. Friend of friend mentions that she once had a stalker. Creepy guy would come over to visit and any time she wasn't around he'd leave a pebble on her window. She'd come back and there'd be like 6-7 pebbles on the window. Creepy yeah. Anyways, I start giving this person shit, saying how I'd love a stalker, really a boost to the self esteem. She's like, no it isn't. We start talking crap and she agrees to stalk me in jest. So when I see this person the next few times I'm all like "where's my pebble?" and she's all "oh it's coming."
One day I come in to find an object left on my desk. But it wasn't a pebble. It was a tiny, little plastic baby. The baby is on all fours with its head on its arm. She finally got around to stalking me, which is hilarious....but damned if the leaving tiny plastic babies isn't CREEPY AS FUCK. So she totally trumped me. I was all like "come on, having a stalker isn't that bad," and she's like "oh really? Here, have some tiny plastic babies." And I'm all "ok, that is really fucking creepy."
And oddly, I'm proud of this. It's simultaneously creepy and damned funny. Now I have three plastic babies. Next time I saw her I was all "the plastic babies are creepy as fuck. You are AWESOME!"
4. Three days until my wisdom teeth come out. Er....hurray?
5. I'm turning into a professor. Save me.
6. I need to finish Pebbleman. I really really really need to finish Pebbleman. I really really really really really really really need to finish Pebbleman.
Really.
7. There is no 7.
8. There is only half an eig-
9. Ok, I'm only filling in numbers until I get to 10. But I can't just stop a list at 3 or 7 or something like that. List has got to be a multiple of 5. So let it be written, so let it be done.
10. My warlock will likely hit 63 tonight, and my paladin is 60 with his epic mount. When both of those characters hit 70 that will make 7 level 70 characters. At that point I believe one of two things will happen. Either the universe will implode or I will officially win WoW. I'm a little scared when that will happen because I'll have simply run out of things to do in that game.
Friday, February 1, 2008
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