What do you want?

Ezekiel Stone: What do you want?
The Devil: Your every waking moment consumed with holding up your end of our bargain.
- Brimstone (another awesome show prematurely canceled by Fox)

Alright, I held up my end. Today I submitted "Thomas Waits for Gai Man" for publication in Weird Tales. That means your ass is on the line, Coyote. If you don't submit for the workshop, you will forever be my subordinate, or, more appropriately, my "bitch".

Also, you fuckers need to post more comments on my other blog. I REQUIRE GRATIFICATION BY MY PEERS DAMNIT.

(I've been so bitter lately, and I have no idea why)

Eh, fuck it

I give up. Now let us never speak of this ever again. Ever.

Third time, perhaps it will be the charm

I got another date tomorrow night. This will be the third person I've gone out with from this internet dating "bidness". We'll see how it goes. We're just going out to see Iron Man.

This is the geek girl. I'm not exactly sure of her geek credentials, but they seem about as legit as mine. She likes Star Trek and Star Wars, collects figures of Captain Kirk, reads David Eddings and Neil Gaiman. Plus, as a benefit, she knows about old movies. She was able to, without provocation, mention the little known Cary Grant/Irene Dunne movie My Favorite Wife, which I love. I was impressed.

So this one has some potential. I say that because I think this woman is a little smitten with me. We've talked on the phone twice now. For 3 hours each time. She seems into me. Me, I'm being more reserved. Once bitten, twice shy, all that. We'll see. I'm playing it slow. I hope she's as pretty as her picture.

There is one thing that...well...it doesn't bother me, but I find it really odd. She never went to college. Got out of high school, got a job. She doesn't seem to be a loser. She's worked at the same place for 9 years, gotten promotions and what not. Just never went to college. It's not a bad thing. It's just...I never EVER would've guessed I'd become involved with someone that didn't go to college. I mean, those are the circles I travel in. I work at colleges, in college towns. I had automatically assumed that anyone I ended up with would have at least some connection to some university some where. I just find it odd. The only real problem it presents is a slight lack of common ground. She won't know exactly what I'm talking about when I talk about my college or grad school days. Not worried about it, just thought I'd mention it.

My perversion knows no bounds

So there I was in my Core class, working out, this afternoon. We were on all fours, doing hamstring exercises. I think you can see where I am going with this. We're in between exercises, and I look up. What do I see? I see the letters PUR-DUE staring back at me, plastered across the ass of the woman next to me. The finely toned ass of the woman next to me. See, we have a new instructor, a guy who I think hasn't taught before, so the previous instructor, a grad student named Natalie, has been around the past couple classes just to make sure he was doing ok. I would like to point out, again, that this was a 20-something year old aerobics instructor. On all fours. In front of me. With her ass in the air. Her incredibly toned and shapely ass.

Needless to say, my thoughts turned naughty.

And then she lifted her leg in the air for the hamstring exercise and on my god is that her underwear yes that's her underwear and it's a bikini-style bottom.

*cough*

I had a good afternoon.

I went up to her afterwards and said, "I have to ask, did you go to Purdue?"
She said, "yeah, why, oh did you read on my-"
"I ALSO SAW YOU HAD A HARRY'S (a bar at Purdue) SHIRT AT ONE TIME." (aka, I wasn't staring at your ass, I swear. That delicious red apple ass of...I need a shower)
"Yeah I did."
"I did my undergrad at Purdue."
"Oh, how nice."
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand scene.

In other words, my afternoon was both hilarious and uplifting!

On an unrelated note, I need to give a shoutout to my friend Asim who may or may not begin reading this blog. Asim is my oldest friend (in time known, not total age). Asim just got engaged. Congrats buddy, I knew it was just a matter of time. But you're not getting out of our trip to get Russian brides that easily.