It's not the heat, it's the humidity

First posted 8-7-07

While I believe everyone that goes around saying that should be shot, because, you know, it's not like I haven't heard it a million times before, it doesn't stop it from being true.

It's humid out. Fucking humid. Jungle humid.

Now, I don't want to harp on this point, but...I lived in GEORGIA. Okay? GEORGIA! Or, as I call it, Armpit of the US. I think that qualifies me for knowing something about heat and humidity. There are only two places I've visited on Earth that are more humid than Georgia. One is Orlando, Florida. The other is New Orleans, Louisiana.

(I don't mean to sound insensitive, but when New Orleans was under water after the hurricane, I have to ask...how could they tell?)

Bloomington is putting all these places to shame. Today it's bad. Yesterday it was worse. Than anything. There is only one way to describe the humidity I felt yesterday.

Let's not mince words, I'm a fat man. It's the truth. As a fat man, I sweat. A lot. The sweat seems to collect in my crotch area. Eventually the entire area can become so wet that it feels almost like I've soiled myself. Like I'm one of those kids at the beach dragging their filled and heavy diaper around behind them. But in this case, it's sweat.

Imagine swimming through that.

That's what yesterday felt like.

It felt like swimming through a fat mans crotch.

That has to be the most disgusting analogy I have ever made. Perhaps the most disgusting thought I have ever thought. I'm actually kind of proud of it.

GIRLFRIEND NEWS (you can stop reading here if you like). After spending most of yesterday pissed off about her and various other things (as was noted, it was a "pissed off" kind of day, I actually enjoyed it a little) I was about ready to toss the thing away. Then at the end of the night she decided to find me, talk to me, she was really happy and excited (she had had a good night, which is good) and asked if I wanted to come up and visit her this weekend. I mostly think it was the spur of the moment of her feeling good for once.

Well I'll be darned. So this is my crazy life (cue sitcom music). Her emotions can swing wildly. My emotions can swing wildly. We're both crazy. Of the two of us, I appear to be the more stable one. Which is WRONG. Just...just WRONG. I mean, there is no way in hell that I should be the more stable one in a relationship. Your honor, I object! Badgering the witness! Beavering the witness! I'd LIKE to beaver the witness!

But yeah, life is nuts.

Anyways, despite that it will make my blog just completely and utterly lame, at this point I'm just going to have to keep writing about my girlfriend troubles here because it helps me keep what little vestige of sanity I have. I wish I didn't have to. As noted, I wish my blog were just chock full of awesome like Inga's, but that ain't me. And I got to be meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

(cue Sinatra music)

Also, Coyote, sex, now. On your knees, bitch.

Posted by Inga @ 08/07/2007 10:02 PM PDT
Holy shit, did I just get a mention in someone's blog I don't know my first time reading it? I think... wait. ... Yeah. I think I just got all tingly in my pinkish-beige parts. (I may be very pale, but I'm a very pale olive person. It's part beige down there.) Woah, wait a second! ... My nips are hard! I mean, they kind of always are, genetically, but I mean, we're talking goosebumps in the areola region now, so it's for real! Wow! This is turning into a great evening! Two out of...several of my sensual parts have been activated without my having to do anything but show up and allow the reading reflex to take hold! And it was a post that mentions SWAMP CROTCH, no less! Add a cherry on top! "AAAAHHH SWEET MYSTERY OF LIIIIFE, AT LAST I HAVE FOUUND YOUUUU!"

	Posted by Coyote @ 08/07/2007 06:32 PM PDT
	I'm right there with you on the humidity. Living on or near the bay is a mother and no mistake. Today I actually felt gills trying to erupt on my neck. P.S. Don't take it wrong if I don't comment about the woman stuff. Too many bad experiences makes me liable to go on a hate filled tirade at the drop of a hat about them. P.P.S. I show up already prepared for sex. Give it! P.P.P.S. Try not to compliment Ing too much, she's got quite a big enough head as is (you heard me!). We're having dinner tomorrow (I think) so I'll have to insult her once to make up for that compliment.